
In case you haven't heard, A major research institution (reported by www.velociraptor.net) has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Bushcronium."
Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an Atomic mass of 311. These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. The symbol for Bushcronium is "W".
Bushcronium's mass actually increases over time, since each reorganization causes more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."
When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element which radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons. Fortunately it appears that Bushcronium has a limited shelf life although the studies have been unable to determine exactly how long the stain on things it has touched will remain.
Unstable isotopes of Bushchronium decay into AnneCoulterite. AnnCoulterite is an extremely toxic and nasty daughter element whose emanations are so unpleasant that they poison the atmosphere of any room where this decay byproduct is present.